Cogs.Ink/Manager Profiles/High Roller
The High Roller's user information was discovered during the April Toons 2023 ARG. Once logged into the account the user can view this employee’s profile. However, this profile is nothing like the other employees. The page is striped with red, blue, green, and yellow lines with a large header saying, “HIGH ROLLER’S HIGH ROLLER”. Included is an image of the High Roller. There is a box containing five links with the caption to click the links to “claim your prize”. The footer has the copyright blacked out. After entering one of the five pages it will have moving text on the top of the page saying "HIGH ROLLER" multiple times. Each page has navigation links below this as well as a random advertisement on the top and bottom of the page.
About High Roller
The High Roller runs a TV game show called "High Roller's High Roller". It involves 4 contestants in a fast-paced, high-stakes race to the finish where players will have to spin to win for fame, glory, and maybe even a promotion. It is described as having the most nail-biting, teeth-clenching, heart-pounding, sensational games to ever be seen on live TV. They also guarantee your money back, however, refunds for disappointing or otherwise lackluster experiences are not offered. The game show is available on television as well as in person. Trivia, puzzles, memory games, and violence are involved. It is recommended to brush up on fun-facts to impress your boss by being better than the other contestants and to show off your brain module. The winner of the game show will receive a grand prize.
A warning is listed for the program warning the viewer that the High Roller's High Roller and any and all subsidiaries are not liable for any kind of financial or emotional compensation in the event of grievous injury or other unfortunate circumstances. It is advised that those attending in-person remain at least 6 feet away from the stage in order to avoid the "splash zone" and risking potential damage. Participating in this event absolves the group from any legal burden or liability.
The Minigames
Trivia
Are you an insufferable know-it-all? Enjoy knowing how our contestants get the most basic Cog Nations facts wrong, and revel in the fact you know better than them! Brag about it at work and impress your boss! Maybe even finally earn that promotion you've been vying for by showing off your masterful prowess of random and mostly useless trivia questions! Just be careful you don't do TOO well! If you're smarter than your boss, well, then, you just may get fired instead! (High Roller's High Roller is not responsible for any termination of employment or failure to earn a promotion that may come as a consequence of being a nerd.)
Puzzle
Can you tell your Magnates from your Micromanagers? In the puzzle round, contestants will need to identify the types of Suits in front of them, and work out their total worth. Please note that failure to accurately identify suits from your department - or even your own suit - may lead to permanent ridicule and shame, so make sure you study up before getting started so you don't make a fool of yourself in the office workspace! (High Roller's High Roller is not responsible for emotional damages. Try harder next time.)
Shuffle
Are your eyes as sharp as Legal Eagle's? Watch as our contestants put full attention on one of the lower-leveled Flunkies as they get shuffled around! Keep in mind that using any custom target-lock-on features installed in your optical mechanics is considered cheating, and may be grounds for severe disciplinary action such as the immediate termination of your employment! So play fair, stay focused, and keep your eyes on that Flunky! (High Roller's High Roller is not responsible for any workplace disciplinary action you filthy cheater.)
Where to watch the show
This page lists the several different ways to view High Roller's High Roller.
To Watch From Cubicle
The High Roller's High Roller can be seen every other day at 1930 CNT on Channel 2 or 77. The receiver used must support decoding SVT-P signals. If this is unavailable it is suggested to speak to your manager about adding the update to your annual Discretionary Performance Bonus Loan coverage.
To Watch From Tape
Pre-recorded seasons of the show (the available listings are blocked out) are for sale at the local market, Suit maintenance facilities, dry cleaner’s, and sustenance takeout facilities.
To Watch The Live Show
Live shows are presented 4 to 5 days a week and tickets can be purchased without reservation.
| Show Times | Doors 19:00 CNT
Show 19:30 CNT (late admissions will be kept at the door until commercial break) |
| Next Show Locations | |
| Month 4 | Dave BruBot - The Musical Master of Melody
Tenor Terrace, Brass & Shipping District, Cog Nation |
| Month 5 | Dave BruBot - The Musical Master of Melody
Tenor Terrace, Brass & Shipping District, Cog Nation |
| Month 6 | TBC |
| Month 7 | TBC |
| Directions To: | |
| Dave BruBot - The Musical Master of Melody | |
| Come on down to the Brass & Shipping District, home of our very own Cashbot HQ, and take a stroll down (replacement name pending) Tenor Terrace! Fly on down towards the end of the street just before you reach the entrance to the Luxury Suites & Textiles District, and look out on the right to find the grand theatre of Dave BruBot - The Musical Master of Melody, who has so graciously granted us the space to bring you all the magic and pizzazz of High Roller's High Roller! And remember, if you see that gaudy Toon building "Relax The Bach", you've gone too far! Don't wait, come in and say hi during High Roller's High Roller!
| |
Notes
- Please do not consume sustenance via internal combustion within the studio.
- External recording equipment is not allowed; Suits with embedded recording apparatuses must turn them off before entering the studio.
- Late admission will be held at the door until commercial breaks.
- Please remain at minimum 6 feet away from the stage at all times in order to avoid "the splash zone".
- By attending High Roller's High Roller you relieve us and any and all subsidiaries of any legal liability of any physical, emotional, or fiscal harm that may come as a result of your attendance.
[NEW!!] Contest: What is High Roller's Origin?
This page has moving text below the header stating, "WIN HIGH ROLLER MERCH - ENTER THE CONTEST TODAY!".
High Roller's High Roller seems to have had several seasons of the program, but little information is known about the host himself. It states that he seems to have a striking resemblance to two blocked out names. It is also unknown how he was able to reserve one of the most exclusive stages at the Major Player's building. The contest involves guessing the answers to various questions such as "why is he not on company payroll?" and "how does he submit his taxes?". It warns that submitted theories may or may not be subject to internal company investigation without monetary compensation. The best submissions will be featured in a special episode of High Roller's High Roller and the submitter may even be invited to a special dance party to meet the man himself. However, it is warned that he bites. Thankfully, protective gear is provided.
Past Entries
The following entries are from viewers:
I think he's some kind of Flunkenstein's Monster, specially built in a lab to find the second fastest way to earn a million bucks. After winning the jackpot, of course. I don't know, I've just heard these crazy theories about some super secret project that the Head Honchos - figuratively, not literally - don't want us lower suit-folk to know about... and what if they're right? I just know that High Roller guy is a part of it all, like some crazy scheme to make the perfect suit out of a lab instead of a factory like the rest of us. All I know is, I'm DEFINITELY bringing my tinfoil hat to that show. The pure radiation coming off of that guy has to be INSANE!
You wanna know what I think? He's an ALIEN! That's right, I said it, that's no ordinary suit. High Roller had to come from SPACE! I bet he has a big UFO and everything hidden behind the scenes, and he sits back there and he taps away at all these colorful buttons that make silly futuristic beep-boop noises, and then he unzips his disguise and a little green guy pops out! I bet his Grand Prize is getting to go on his ship and being taken back to his home planet. Can you imagine that? It sounds scary, but also so exciting! Maybe I'll try out to be a contestant... I HAVE to know.
I just know this is a trap. I don't trust that guy for one second. This is probably another set up by those pesky Toons to get information on us and get in the way of all of our business, well you know what? I'm not falling for it! I ain't going to his show, or buying his pre-recorded seasons, or watching it in the cubicle, or nothing! I don't care if I get written up for it, you're all falling into their trap! I had a buddy who went and exploded because of a wedding cake last month... you all can walk into the trap, but not me! I'm gonna stay right here and do my office work like a good Flunky. Right in this chair.
Met the soon-to-be High Roller at a ########concert all the way back in ####. The music was great. The people were great. At some point during the show he was in the middle of the crowd dancing and he looks to me, dares me to join him by saying, "Can ya dance? Not a chance!" And lemme tell ya, this guy could DANCE. I still don't know where he gets his moves from. I couldn't dance like he could, but dang if I didn't try. He backed up into one of the stereo sets and I accidentally walked right into them, we fell over and broke the darn things, almost destroyed a Flunky in the crossfire. I still remember how much it all cost - 12,170 cogbucks, holy moly. The band wasn't pleased. Back then High Roller wasn't as wealthy, only had a meager ten million cogbucks to his name; he told me he couldn't spend any of it, which I understood. It was almost everything I had, but I paid out of pocket in full - I was sure I'd make that money again in no time. And he said to me, "When I get my show off the road, I'll pay you back tenfold." I still remember that awesome, unforgettable night. That's how I'd describe High Roller - unforgettable. If you read this and you're still up for that offer HR, remember I'm the ################################ at ###########.
About Fifty or so years ago, I used to work at this Pizzeria ... I was opening one night. The freezer door was locked ...but someone walked out! My memory is not as good as it used to be but I think it looked like High Roller. So in my mind, High Roller came from the ########### freezer back in the day! Ha ha!
Below the previous entries is a box to submit your own entry prompting to tell them your craziest theory. It is limited to 10,000 characters. Including personal information is not necessary as your terminal automatically sends your details on submit. After submitting an entry, it will redirect the user to a page thanking them for participating. Attempting to submit an entry over 10,000 will show the error page stating, "Your submission was too long. Try summarizing, eh?".
Blog
This page includes a blog post for Month 3 and 4 of High Roller's Brain Roll.
High Roller's Brain Roll - Month 3 Edition!
Written by: High Roller
| Lifften, I'm not a- Oh! Hello, I forgot I had the microphone on again. ANYWAYS, that'ff beffideff the point! You're intereffted in learning about me, aren't you? Great! Strap in for thiff one folkff, becauffe the mind of me iff great, powerful and AWEFFOME! AHAHAH! You ffhould already know who I am and if you don't, you're about to. Let'ff dive right in. Suitff and Toonff are merely the ffame to me, you hear? A ffhowff, a ffhow! And during a ffhow, you have to be talkative, fafft, and make ffure your participantff underfftand what they're dealing with! And mofft of the time they really don't. Even I don't know what i'm dealing with! Wordff jufft fall out of my mouth like it'ff nothing! And people are amazed by that. They're amazed by ME! I'm even amazed by me, you have to admit! Onffe you underfftand the game, the priffe, the prize, you go all in! Double or nothing, jeopardy or not, everyone iff a winner in my book! Now you're wondering, Mr. Roller, What you even ffaying? What'ff the point in all of thiff? Well, to anffwer that, I want you to lifften cloffely. I want your brainff to get to work here, baby doll! I need you to fftep right up and become apart of my ffhow. I know, I know, it ffeemff like a daunting taffk and all that, but I PROMIFFE it'ff worth it! You get to be up and perffonal with me, you get to get your nogginff a-workin, you get to experienffe FEAR! DELIGHT! DANGER! And a lot more other fftuff I don't think I'm allowed to ffay. BUT! I hope you got all of that. If you're fftill brain fftumped, I fftill have more for you to ponder. I won't give up until everyone iff underfftanding and on the ffame page aff me! I control more than jufft what meetff the eye, I promiffe! I can do ffo many thingff no normal Toon would ever dream of! It'ff like I control the world in my itty bitty handff, that'ff why I'm ffaying my game ffhow iff to DIE for! The univerffe iffn't quite ready for me, and you aren't either! That'ff why after all of thiff, you ffhould have a deeper underfftanding and a deeper connection with me. Becauffe lifften, you and I? All of you? I'm going to be FAMOUFF! A FFTAR! Someone everyone lookff up to! In fact, I already am! And you? Abffolutely none of thoffe thingff! But you can keep on dreaming and maybe one day you can be jufft like me! Or not. |
High Roller's Brain Roll - Month 4 Edition!
Written by: High Roller
| Click here to add text |
Activities
This page provides two different activity sheets, one is connect the dots while the other is a coloring page. They are free, fun High Roller activities that can be done from the comfort of your own cubicle. It is recommended to use your favorite multi-colored pen!
At an unknown point, after MAYPril Toons 2023, the activities on this page were removed and replaced with the text "NOTE FROM C.O.G.S. Inc: Fun has been cancelled.".
Advertisements
Each page has a random advertisement displayed on the top and bottom of the page.
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Trivia
- The completed connect the dots activity page is a drawing of the High Roller as a small duck.