Due to being Skelecogs, all negative effects applied to the Satellite Investors will last for 1 less round.
The Satellite Investors all have a Lure Resistance of 3 rounds. However, due to Skeletal Structure each of the Satellite Investors can only be lured for 2 rounds.
Charon
Charon absorbs 40% of damage dealt to other Cogs. This cheat will unlure Charon upon use, regardless if there was damage during that round. This cheat is seemingly triggered at random, with currently no way to consistently occur. Due to this cheat causing an unlure before the Toons attack, Charon can be Lured again on the same turn to be prevented from attacking.
Nix
At the beginning of each turn, Nix will unlure and inflict a random toon with a reward cooldown, or if already applied, a 20% vulnerability debuff (cannot stack, cannot reset both cooldowns at once). Both last 3 rounds. Due to this cheat causing an unlure before the Toons attack, Nix can be Lured again on the same turn to be prevented from attacking. If a reward (IOU, Sue, or Fire) is prepared to be used in the same round that Shakedown activates, the reward will not be triggered at all.
Hydra
During every turn, before attacking, Hydra will unlure and give a 10% damage up to a random Satellite Investor that isn't himself. This buff stack is multiplicative for each use, and can stack infinitely. If he is the only Satellite Investor present, he will give the damage buff to himself. This cheat essentially makes him only have one turn of Lure.
Styx
If there isn't one in the battle, Styx will summon a random Level 15.exe of any department type. This Cog will be wearing the Waiter suit used in the Chief Executive Officer battle and will have Lure Resistance for 2 rounds. If there is not enough battle space, the waiter will be queued to come in the next time a Cog is destroyed. This ability will not trigger during Deep Freeze.
If there is a Waiter present in battle, Styx will drain a third of the Waiter's maximum health and give it to himself. This can kill the waiter. If there is no waiter, and one cannot be spawned, Styx will perform the same action but with all Cogs in battle.
Kerberos
Every 2 rounds, Kerberos damages himself for 10% of his current HP and heals another Cog in the battle for up to 200% of the sacrificed health (e.g., provides a +360 heal if Kerberos sacrifices 180 health). This can Overcharge non-Manager Cogs and does not target the Plutocrat under normal circumstances.
Strategy
NOTE: These strategies are for the first phase of the Plutocrat battle, and some parts of the second phase. If you want a more in-depth section of Plutocrat phase 2 himself, please visit the strategy section of his page.
Focus on one Satellite Investor at a time. This should be quickly done as more Investors are defeated, due to the Ghost Payroll buff potentially causing a lot of damage if left unchecked.
Alternatively, don't worry much about Investor kill priority if the plan is just to destroy all the Satellite Investors at once or almost all at once with Zap.
Lure is effective on most of the Satellite Investors to minimize damage taken in the first phase.
Hydra is the only one that cannot be kept Lured for more than the application turn under any circumstances, as his cheat wakes him up right before he starts to attack.
Styx and Nix can always be Lured and kept from dealing any damage on the Lure turn. Additionally, they will unlure themselves before (Styx) or during (Nix) next turn, allowing them to be unable to attack for extended periods.
Kerberos is similar to Styx, but only unlures every other turn to heal another Cog.
Due to the inconsistent nature of Charon's Stand-Up cheat, Charon can only sometimes be kept stunned with Lure, he will be able to attack if he doesn't use his cheat two turns in a row.
Zap is excellent in the first phase. As Zap becomes near-useless in the second phase, you can use all of your high Zap to make quick work of the Satellite Investors, while saving other high level offensive Gags such as Drop and Throw.
Save your Level 8 Gags, other than TNT, Lightning, and Geyser, to maximize damage and safety in the second phase. Your other Level 7 Gags, if any need to be used at all, should be enough to take down the first three Investors.
If you are using Counterfeits for this phase, be aware that if many Toons use Counterfeits, the ones off cooldown need to be prepared to Unite if needed, and Counterfeit Gags do not carry over into Phase 2. The Satellite Investors' combined attacks can easily deal over half of a Toon's maximum Laff in one turn, even more so if any have received Ghost Payroll buffs and damage buffs from Hydra.
Keep in mind that effects such as Cheer, Encore, IOUs, and Forged Gags will be wiped in the transition to Phase 2. This means Counterfeits would need to be used preemptively to save the original Gag, and that you can't start Phase 2 with any buffs.
Satellite Investor Kill Priority
Some Satellite Investors are more dangerous than others in Phase 1. The kill priority of the Investors can depend on how their cheats compare to each other and how much difficulty they cause when used together. In Phase 2, all Investors' cheats, with the main exception being Styx's, have minute significance at best due to how their cheats do little if anything at all to protect themselves from being defeated and how quickly they can be defeated.
Pragmatically speaking, the threat ranges do not vary widely at all among all Investors and matter little if the agenda is to either kill all three simultaneously or near-simultaneously with something like Zap. If you had to kill one at a time, the ideal order of defeat in Phase 1 is loosely as follows: Charon > Hydra > Kerberos > Nix > Styx.
Charon has the highest overall base damage, has the highest health pool of the five Investors, and occasionally and unpredictably chooses to sponge up 40% of damage dealt to other Cogs. He makes focusing down other investors cumbersome if he feels like constantly using Stand Up.
Hydra is considerably threatening due to the slowly snowballing nature of his continuous usage of Kick Up, which stacks with Ghost Payroll and always unlures him. Keep in mind, though, that the damage buff is not quite as threatening as it sounds due to how it's only granting a 10% buff to base damage numbers that aren't that high and how other Investors can be kept Lured.
Kerberos has the second highest health pool, and his Tribute cheat can cause other Investors to last longer than they otherwise would. However, he has the second lowest overall base damage of the Investors.
Nix can perpetually apply damage vulnerability and reward cooldown, but the damage amplification he can apply is fairly minor, and it's difficult for this to be active on more than two Toons at a time. Phase 1 is completely manageable without usage of many rewards, especially as long as one Toon is off reward cooldown, making the reward cooldown afflictions pretty irrelevant.
Styx has the second highest overall base damage, but also has the lowest health pool of the Investors. Both him and the waiter he summons cannot do much if they are kept constantly group Lured.
As long as Hydra isn't paired with Charon and/or Kerberos in the Phase 1, or Hydra is in Phase 2, most beginning sets are not difficult to manage when considering Lure prevents most Satellite Investors from being able to attack for a turn and can be constantly reused.
Toons can surrender and try the fight again if they want a more optimal first phase lineup. However, this only makes the battle slightly easier and is widely considered not worth the effort and time.
The most problematic set would be Hydra + Kerberos + Charon, due to their combination of healing, tanking, and damage. It is completely manageable, but compared to other sets, it is the one that would give players the most trouble. A common way to deal with this set is to kill Hydra last, as otherwise the last remaining manager will likely have a strong damage buff from Kick Up and become very dangerous.
Charon: "Guess we gotta make use of this raise somehow!"
Nix: "We ain't forgettin' ya, gotta use this while it lasts!"
Hydra: "Money can't provide happiness above the family, but it'll do for now!"
Styx: "I'm sure tha raise will be put ta good use!"
Kerberos: "Every little bit counts in tha end!"
Slush Fund
"Do I gotta provide the muscle for ya?!"
"Consider this ya share for this operation."
"I said I wouldn't let anyone mess with ya, didn't I?!"
"C'mon ya neutron stars, keep yourselves together!"
Stand-Up Guy
"I won't stand for your harassment anymore."
"Alright, that's enough. I'm takin' a stand."
"I can't stand seeing the rest of 'em get hurt!"
Shakedown
"Let's shake things up."
"Maybe this'll shake some sense into ya."
"Ya look a little shaken up, Toon."
"No one ever gave ya the rundown on how this place works, ey?"
Kick Up
"We'll get a kick out of this."
"Look out, this might have a bit of a kick."
"Ya gonna be kickin' yourself for not plannin' ahead, Toon."
"I bet an extra kick will send 'em flyin'."
Sitdown
"Waiter, please."
"Let me introduce ya to my little friend."
"I think ya gonna like this one, they's a good fella."
Usury
"These rates are astronomical!"
"Consider this a fiscal "black hole," if ya will."
"Ya gonna be light-years away from paying your debts."
Tribute
"To the Don!"
"In honor of my fallen Satellites."
"Suits like us gotta look out for each other."
Face-Off Taunts
"We'll launch ya out of town."
"Stick around and we'll put ya on ice, Toon."
Death Taunts
"Forget about it."
"Enjoy a one-way ride to the stars, Toon."
"Get outta our orbit, Toon."
"Revenge is a dish best served cold."
Friend Request Denials
The Satellite Investors raise their eyebrows: "We ain't emotionally involved here, alright?"
The Satellite Investors shake their heads in unison: "We think ya oughta gibbous some space."
The Satellite Investors look between each other: "Ya ain't no friend of ours."
Attempt to Sue
Charon: "Funny, ya tryina take us to court now! I ain't showin' up."
Nix: "The Don's gonna have to pay for that, ya know!"
Hydra: "Ya wouldn't even survive in court with us anyways!"
Styx: "Ya ain't even got the experience to win the lawsuit, Toon."
Kerberos: "I wouldn't show up even if ya paid me."
Attempt to Fire
Charon: "Yer tryna fire me...? Ya don't even understand how this place works."
Nix: "The boss didn't approve of this at all. Nice try, Toon!"
Hydra: "That's funny kid, but I ain't movin' a muscle."
Styx: "A piece of paper ain't gonna do anythin' anyways."
Kerberos: "The Don call the shots 'ere, not you!"
Music
Theme
Audio File
Song Title
Battle Theme
Knocked Out of Orbit
Version History
v1.7.0 BETA
Charon's Stand-Up Guy is now tied with a unique animation.
v1.4.0 BETA
Plutocrat and his lackies are now generating 15% more dough through money laundering and pizza sales!
Styx can now usury from all Cogs if he can't summon a waiter.
Nix's HP has increased from 1500 to 1625.
Styx's summoned waiter has increased in level from 12 to 15.
This also means the waiter can no longer be a Tier 6 Cog.
Styx's HP has increased from 1300 to 1500.
Styx's Sit Down will no longer trigger during Deep Freeze.
Kerberos' attacks have increased in damage.
v1.3.0.8 BETA
Adjusted the abilities of some of Plutocrat's investors to make their strength more consistent.
v1.3.0 BETA
The boss wants to speak to ya's at Mozzarella Styx, the new pizza place on Sleet Street.
The Satellite Investors are added to the game alongside the Plutocrat.
Trivia
Satellite investing is a method of portfolio construction designed to minimize costs, tax liability, and volatility while providing an opportunity to outperform the broad stock market as a whole.
Each of the five Satellite Investors are named after one of the five moons of Pluto.
The Satellite Investors do not use the texture meant for Executive Cashbot Skelecogs. They are simply regular Skelecogs that are color-coded in different shades.
Hydra is one of the only non-Lawbot Skelecogs to wear a bowtie rather than a necktie.
Charon's tie is thinner in shape, which only Sellbot Skelecogs are shown to use.
Nix shares his name with one of the Head Attorneys. Beyond this, they have no other relations.
All five Skelecogs are bundled into one group of the Cashbot Cog Gallery as opposed to individual sections.
Charon has the strongest attacks and is the highest level, but has the least amount of defense.
However, despite Styx being the lowest level, he deals the second highest damage.
Kerberos deals the least amount of damage.
In early stages of the fight's planning, the Satellite Investors were originally going to have much higher Defense values compared to their current versions. Higher than any other Cog's defense to date. These defense values were as follows:
Charon
Nix/Hydra
Styx
Kerberos
80
90
95
85
Gallery
The Satellite Investors' appearance in an official Twitter comic.
A holiday postcard featuring the Satellite Investors